Father Knows Best: Teachable Moments

From the moment a child first enters this world they begin learning. They learn that it is a lot colder outside of the womb. They learn if they cry someone will bring them food or change their soiled diapers. They also learn very subtle lessons such as the comfort of their mother’s voice, the warmth of sunshine on their face and the joy that comes with smiling and giggling. As a child experiences their world, every moment they are learning something new. Every moment is teaching that child something.

As parents we marvel at how quickly our toddlers grow and learn. They seem to absorb everything like a sponge. It seems natural to both child and parent that learning is moment to moment, non-stop. Then we start the “formal” education. We send them off to school to learn math and English. We send them off to Sunday school to learn about God. It no longer seems natural for learning to be moment by moment. Now we treat learning like it is dependent on “formalized” education.

What happens to all those spontaneous teachable moments as our children get older? How do we manage to get so busy that we miss these opportunities the older our kids get?

Nothing happens to those moments. Our children are still learning moment to moment. The question to ask is, what are they learning?

They’re learning to fit in at school, or not fitting in. They’re learning about morals from video games, PG-13 movies and TV. When they were infants they learned that crying brought them food and someone to change their soiled diapers. Now they’re learning many more buttons to push to get what they want from mom and dad.

Every moment in your child’s life, from infancy to adulthood is a teachable moment. We can either be an active part of the lesson and teach them the values we want to pass on to them or we can be passive and let them learn on their own and hope they figure it out.

When God gave Israel “the Shema” he commanded them to diligently teach His words to their children, not just in Sunday school but when they sat together in their homes, went on walks, before bed and first thing in the morning. And it wasn’t just words to teach their children but they were to be displayed in everything they did and on the forefront of their thoughts. Our children learn more from our actions than our words.

Where are your children learning their moment to moment lessons about life? What lessons are they learning? What role are you playing?

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (ESV) 4 "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Read More...

Summary only...

Father Knows Best: Blessed are the poor

I have four awesome kids and I love them beyond words. So when they ask me for their hearts desire and it is something I can afford, how do I say no?

I remember when I was growing up that my Dad said many times that he wanted to give to us boys because his parents could not afford much when he was growing up. I did not get everything, but there was not much I didn't get that I wanted. So what did I get that I just had to have?

I have no idea.

I got lots of stuff and I can remember some of the stuff I had, but I certainly can't remember any gift that made my heart swell and think, "Wow! My mom and dad really do love me!" I'm sure some of the stuff I got really made me happy when I got it but over time, the joy brought by that gift was forgotten. Why is that?

We are basically born selfish and prideful. What is one of the first words we learn? "Mine!"

When parents feed that selfish desire it grows. If we continue to feed this desire it soon becomes almost impossible to turn back. When we do try to say no, we risk being pulled into psychological warfare with our little loved ones and we discover that they are really good at it. (How do they learn to push our buttons like that?)

Before we know it, we are giving to our kids out of guilt or avoidance of conflict rather than out of love.

What if we had no money to give our kids anything? What if the children in the picture above were you're own children? How would you show them that you love them if you can't give them any stuff?

It's really an easy question. We'd hold them. We'd console them. We'd give them our portion of food. We'd pray for them and do whatever we could so they did not have to scrounge for food in the streets. Basically, we'd love them.

The problem we have in America is that even most of our poor are rich. For most of us, we can feed those selfish desires in our kids until they pop. It's an easy way for us as parents to attempt to show love. It's an easy way to keep the peace. What becomes increasingly difficult is saying "no".

However, saying "no" once in awhile may be the greatest gift you can give your children. They will already have more stuff than they will ever really need and any stuff you give them will soon be forgotten. But if you can teach them that the world is not about stuff, then you have given them a great gift that will not only always be remembered, but it may just save their soul.

Matthew 19:21-22 (ESV)
²¹ Jesus said to him, "If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me."
²² When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

Read More...

Summary only...

Father Knows Best: Kiss and make it better

We've all been there. A traumatizing moment. Maybe it's caused by fear. Maybe it's caused by someone else hurting you. Maybe it's just an embarrassing moment that you think you'll never survive. There is really nothing anyone else can do to help. Family and friends can put their arms around you and tell you everything will be ok but it's just words. At best, someone can come along beside you and share a similar experience. This may help. However, usually at the time, you can't believe anyone has experienced what you've been through.

What do you do, as a parent, when your son or daughter has one of these moments? If they skin a knee you can kiss it and put a band-aid on it. What do you do when you can't see the boo-boo but you can only see the hurt?

You do what you can. You put your arms around them. You love them. You share similar experiences. However, you've been there. This does not make the hurt go away. So what else can you do? Pray? Does that work?

A couple of weeks ago my 10 year-old son had his first baseball game. He played tee-ball when he was five but baseball had not made the rotation again until now. With four kids all under 10 years of age, you're forced into not playing the "life revolves around your kids' activities" game if you want to keep your sanity (this is another future blog topic in itself). He was excited and nervous. Excited because he loves sports and challenges. Nervous because he'd never played real baseball in a real game.

While playing right field, the traumatizing event occurred. I'm not going to share the particulars with the world but it's enough to know that it wasn't a missed fly ball or an errant throw. He ran off the field and we really only had the option of leaving. There was nothing I could do and nothing I could say. I knew as a grown-up that it was not the end of the world. However, I was also ten once, so I know that it doesn't matter what you'll know someday as a grown-up when your ten right now.

The rest of the story I'll let you read directly from my son. He has his own private blog where he likes to post and journal his life. I won't link you there but I do want to share what he learned.

"Last night I had my first baseball game. It was great, I mean, we were winning 3 to 2, until one moment in the outfield, I got a little sick lets say. I ran to my Dad and told him what happened. We ended up leaving the game early, and we lost. When I got home, I felt really disappointed to not finish my very first game. This is the cool part-When my Mom got home, she told me to pray about it. I went and prayed for at least 15-20 minutes, and next thing I know I feel like nothing happen! I thought I'd just share that with you. It's so awesome to know God's real. Now I can be sure God listens to prayer!"

I hope the lesson our Father taught him that night never leaves him. When mom and dad can't kiss it and make it better, our Father can.

Psalms 147:3 (ESV) 3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Read More...

Summary only...

Father Knows Best: Fragile - Handle with Care

My four year old daughter broke her arm yesterday on Easter Sunday. I'm told the fracture is somewhere in the circled area in the above picture. I'll have to trust the doctors. The accident wasn't the result of an Easter Egg hunt gone crazy. However, it was just as innocent as she fell while playing tag with her brothers and sisters.

We were all enjoying a peaceful Easter afternoon with the laughter of children in the background when suddenly the laughter stopped and the crying started. At first it sounded like any other tumble, a scraped knee or bruised elbow. However, it soon became apparent that this was more serious and we were in for an Easter evening at the emergency room.

Life is fragile. We can go from laughter and playing to pain and crying in an instant. A broken arm is minor compared to other things that can break in our life. A loved one gets cancer or someone we love is hurt or dies in a car wreck. Laughter can turn to tears in an instant. Why is life so fragile?

I could walk you through the Bible from Genesis to Revelation and show you how God created a perfect world, how man blew it by believing the devil over God, how God intervened to repair our broken world, and what the future holds when our world is finally restored. However that would be a book, not a blog post. So what's a good blog response?

If you're a father, you know there is only so much you can do to protect your children. What's even harder is that you also know that they often don't want your protection. However, when they break a bone or get a broken heart, they run back to you to help pick up the pieces.

God could certainly keep my life pain free. However, how much faith would I have if I never had to deal with pain? If I manage to take God for granted and ignore his wisdom when I know my life could break apart at any point, how faithless would I be if I never knew what pain was like?

Don't misunderstand my point. God does not put pain in our life in order keep us coming back to Him. We (mankind) brought pain in this world with our own decisions. However, our Father is there to put us back together again, if only we run back to Him.

Read More...

Summary only...